kingofnovember.com

I've had some whiskey, and I've been thinkin'.

Spider-Man 3

Wherein I shit on a super-hero movie.

Short Version: Utterly skippable and unnecessary; obviously filled with studio and design-by-committee decisions; flat characters; year 2000-grade CG; too many villains; completely pointless inclusion of Gwen Stacy; utter waste of James Cromwell as Captain Stacy; “Venom” plot felt tacked on, and tacked on in such a way that it interfered with what was probably going to be the real plot; “Sandman as the real killer” plot felt tacked on and kind of irrelevant – possibly only added to make some *modicum* of tie-in with the Venom plot.

Ugh. Just ugh.

But I had fun, because I was at the theater with Maynard and Berto, and I always have fun at the movies.

Comments on Spider-Man 3

  1. It’s funny, but reading this post made me happy.

    I think really it was just the last line:
    But I had fun, because I was at the theater with Maynard and Berto, and I always have fun at the movies.

    It portrays more positive you than I think you often present to the public. This is the you that your friends know and love.

  2. I love comparing your review, to Eva’s:

    “Well… the movie was pretty good. There was this guy that had a daughter and she was really sick… and then something happened and he got in the way and then… he was turned into the Sand Man! Only, it’s Kiiiiind of confusing because you never really find out what happened to the daughter. And then Harry has something happen to his…. uh you know, his short term memory, and he goes like, “Peter killed my Dad!” and he’s really really ANGRY at Peter even though, you know, he wasn’t even THERE, and he doesn’t even KNOW that Peter killed his dad or anything, but then that’s kind of confusing. And then there is this big black pile of Alien goo, and it sneaks up on Peter when he’s sleeping! and at first he really likes it because it makes him stronger and faster n stuff… but then, it makes him kinda a bad guy you know, and then Peter tries to RIP OFF the black goo and then it falls on this guy… oh yeah, there was this other guy, Eddie, and he was MAD at Peter because peter parker broke his camera and he wanted to KILL peter parker… only I didn’t really get that part either…

    and it was a pretty good movie, like I said, but it was kinda confusing and it didn’t really make any sense.”

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