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Bible Jesus Adventures, d20 Edition

Wherein Jesus gets a critical miss.

Peter: We’re going to go to the temple to pray.

DM: Okay. You guys head to the temple. Outside of it, you see several stalls where there are merchants who operate money-changing services. The rules of your faith say that coins with faces on them are bad – you know, that entire “graven image” thing. So they charge 20% to change coins for offering.

Paul: Wow. They make some bank.

Jesus: Hrm. That sucks. I don’t like them taking advantage of people like this. I’m going to try to convince them to move away from the temple.

DM: Okay. That’s a Diplomacy check. Uhm, DC 25.

Jesus: Lucky for me, that’s a core skill. [rolls a d20]. Shit. I got a 5.

DM: Oops. That’s a failure. You, uh, you try to tell them to move, but an argument ensues. It’s very tense.

Jesus: Well, I’ve screwed it up. Let’s try to calm it down.

DM: ‘Kay. Roll another Diplomacy check.

Jesus: [rolls a d20. The result is a ‘1’]. Fuck. Botched.

Paul: Oh crap.

DM: Okay. So, rather than calm everyone down, you freak out and flip over a table. Paul, you see Jesus grab one of the money changers and throw him to the ground. The ‘changers are now yelling and freaking out.

Judas: Do I see this happening?

DM: Yes.

Judas: Screw you guys. I’m leaving.

Jesus: I have an “at will” power to walk on water. Is there a river or something nearby? Because I think I need to get the fuck out of here.

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