Bible Jesus Adventures, d20 Edition
Wherein Jesus gets a critical miss.
Peter: We’re going to go to the temple to pray.
DM: Okay. You guys head to the temple. Outside of it, you see several stalls where there are merchants who operate money-changing services. The rules of your faith say that coins with faces on them are bad – you know, that entire “graven image” thing. So they charge 20% to change coins for offering.
Paul: Wow. They make some bank.
Jesus: Hrm. That sucks. I don’t like them taking advantage of people like this. I’m going to try to convince them to move away from the temple.
DM: Okay. That’s a Diplomacy check. Uhm, DC 25.
Jesus: Lucky for me, that’s a core skill. [rolls a d20]. Shit. I got a 5.
DM: Oops. That’s a failure. You, uh, you try to tell them to move, but an argument ensues. It’s very tense.
Jesus: Well, I’ve screwed it up. Let’s try to calm it down.
DM: ‘Kay. Roll another Diplomacy check.
Jesus: [rolls a d20. The result is a ‘1’]. Fuck. Botched.
Paul: Oh crap.
DM: Okay. So, rather than calm everyone down, you freak out and flip over a table. Paul, you see Jesus grab one of the money changers and throw him to the ground. The ‘changers are now yelling and freaking out.
Judas: Do I see this happening?
DM: Yes.
Judas: Screw you guys. I’m leaving.
Jesus: I have an “at will” power to walk on water. Is there a river or something nearby? Because I think I need to get the fuck out of here.
Comments on Bible Jesus Adventures, d20 Edition
“The guards arrive and surround you in the Garden.”
PETER: I roll initiative and draw my sword.