In the months before she moved here, Stacey began a purge through her belongings. The Impossible Turkey was one weird element selected for repatriation to the dumpster. I decided to rescue him and take him on adventures – adventures that would, for him, be impossible.

You know. Being made of wood and all.

The Impossible Turkey liked his journey throughout Seattle.

There are many dogs in Seattle. Dogs like to poop in Seattle, especially in the parks where people walk.

Dogs like to poop everywhere, actually. They are good at pooping. They are not, however, very good at reading signs that tell them where not to poop.

The Impossible Turkey was junkbombed a while back, ending his journeys. The strings inside had broken and his head no longer bobbed. Rather, it lolled about, in a most un-Turkey-like manner.